How to Create a Dinner Party in the Middle of Busy Living

How to Create a Dinner Party in the Middle of Busy Living

By Melissa L AuClair

When was the last time someone invited you over to their home for a meal? The kind of meal where people lingered over the conversation, the laughter was hearty, the food was delicious and the evening brings a smile to your face as you think about it.

Hopefully, it was more recent than not. Unfortunately, between chaotic schedules and the convenience of restaurants many people in our fast-paced culture has lost the art of having people over to share a long meal.

Is it easier to eat out a restaurant than have someone over to your home? First, there is the obvious time and effort to clean the house (at least the portion where guests will be), plan a menu, do the shopping, prepare the food, be the host and finally, gather the energy for the cleanup. Plus, we look at beautiful magazines that show us flawless table arrangements and incredible meals that leave even the most creative us a little tired. It all looks so hard.

But hosting a dinner party or brunch does not have to be hard. And, inviting someone over to your home for a meal can be one of the most easiest, yet profound ways to show someone you care and value them. After all, inviting someone to your home is opening up your most precious space to them. This is the place where you and I create our lives. Our joys reside in the home. In these rooms, we plan, dream, fight, cry and hope. Memories are made. Meals are prepared and shared.

There is something special about eating and sharing a place at the table with friends. We can capture the experience in a restaurant- the conversation and sharing that creates bonds, deepens friendship- but not to its full extent. When we walk into a home, or extend our home to someone else- and then bring out food to share and eat, inhibitions subside and sharing begins. Food relaxes the atmosphere and helps people let down their inhibitions. What weights the mind down- the distractions of other people, the challenges at work, the weight of the daily news, these things all goes out the door.

You can't get the same type of relationship building in a restaurant. There are interruptions by other guests and the servers. Distractions abound as dozens of other groups mingle, talk, laugh, and converse. Children add to the plethora of noise and distraction, sometimes good and sometimes unpleasant. The decision of what to eat can distract from the person we are with.

But in the home, whether it is a studio apartment or a spacious ranch house, intimacy and community can be cultivated. There are only a few simple essentials you need to do to create an inviting gathering in your home. Here are simple tips to create a welcoming atmosphere:

1. It's all about your guests. The time will go much better if you focus on the main event- your guest. Don't worry about not cleaning the back patio or finishing the laundry. Shove the laundry in a concealed area and move on. People can feel our anxieties and often reflect them back to us. If you want to have a great time, remember that as much as your guests feel comfortable and welcome in your home, the more open conversation will be and the easier it will be to "break the ice."

2. It starts at the door. This parlays from the first principle. If you answer the door like a headless chicken, the frantic-panic pace will not set your guests at ease! Instead, they come in, many times a) worrying that they are causing a problem by their presence or b) reminding themselves "this is the reason I don't have people over." Open the door with a smile and welcoming words- be enthusiastic, but be yourself. Look people in the eye and state how happy you are that they are there!

3. Enlist help. Being the cook and the hostess is a tough act to pull off. It can be a lot of work (which is why I am convinced so few of us take the time to have people over). Enlist family or a friend to help with setting the table, preparing food or bringing something (drinks, dessert, dishware, etc.) to the gathering.

When I was hosting a dinner for a women's group each Monday over the course of the summer, one of my dearest friends would come over early and help me prepare food and set up the table. I do not have the words to express how much Krislyn eased some of the stress of putting on a weekly dinner and meeting. Her help made me a better hostess!

One of the unintended results of a great time spent together is that it encourages other people do the same. A secret is to have so much fun yourself that your guests want to be a part of it! As they have fun, they thing to themselves, "This was great; I had a great time and so did everyone else. I should do this sometime. Plus, Brianne doesn't make it look too hard. I bet I could put on something like this."

A second" secret" to pulling off a great party element is making the event look "doable," i.e. we don't moan at how long it took us to get the recipe right or arrange the center piece of find a decent spaghetti squash at the store. The atmosphere should be relaxed and friendly. (Music helps too!)

Which brings me to the third secret of a great dinner party- make it a reflection of yourself. If you love to throw together an elaborate dinner and spending three hours in the kitchen is fun, do it. If simplicity is your thing, go for the simple. Grab a rotisserie chicken from the store and throw together a colorful salad and a loaf of rustic French bread. The food is the frosting on the cake, the medium that gets people together and lightens the mood- but it is not the focus! The focus is on the people, the relationship growth and bonding that is occurring.

And building deep relationships, some that will last a lifetime, is worth the effort!

Melissa AuClair is a freelance web writer and social media consultant helping companies develop their online presence through talking online and offline with their customers. An avid baker and writer, she is currently working on her first Christmas memoir & cookbook - A Kitchen Christmas. Visit her at http://www.melissaauclair.com

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The Perfect Dinner Party - The Fab Five of Entertaining

The Perfect Dinner Party - The Fab Five of Entertaining

By R Ayite Okyne

I love to entertain and people always ask me what the secret is to throwing the perfect party. Today, I will focus on elements for a mid-sized dinner party for 6 to 12 people. Now, for any gathering to be successful, you will need what I call 'the Fab Five': Atmosphere, Drink, Food, Company and You.

Atmosphere

Creating an atmosphere for a successful event will include elements such as lighting, music, decor and any other elements that will enhance the atmosphere of any gathering. Focus on what the guests with see, smell, feel (tactile and emotional). Candles are usually a good idea, creating soft, forgiving lighting and hiding a multitude of sins! Music should not be too noticeable if you want to encourage guests talking, but just enough to create an ambience. Flowers can be a nice touch, but, really almost anything can be used to make great centerpieces.

Drink

Give your guests something to drink within 5 minutes of their arrival - wine, a martini, beer, champagne - just something! And always remember to have something for people who do not drink alcoholic beverages. Water and soda will not cut it! Get creative: seltzer with fruit garnishes is a very simple mocktail idea. (A 'mocktail' is a virgin, or non-alcoholic cocktail). You can find other mocktail ideas on many websites online. Don't have people drinking for more than one hour before dinner is served - your guests will either drink too much, or get too hungry. It's called cocktail hour for a reason! Have about one bottle of wine per guest and probably a little more red than white. According to Esquire's The Big Black Book - and in my experience - red wine drinkers will generally not switch to white wine, but white wine drinkers might not mind as much.

Food

Once your guests have drinks, have some hors d'oeuvres ready for them. Crudit�s with an assortment of dips are always a good idea, so is a fruit and cheese platter. But of course, you can make stuff as well. You are only limited by your creativity and how much time and effort you have available at your disposal. But don't give your guests too much to eat, otherwise, your painstakingly made dinner will go to waste!

If you are cooking dinner yourself, never, ever, try to make a dish you have never prepared before. Anything could go wrong. If you want to try something new, do a practice run first to make sure you can get it done the way it's supposed to be before you try making it for your guests. Also make sure you ask your guests if they have any dietary restrictions so you can plan your menu with that in mind.

Company

If many of your guests will be strangers to one another, invite people you think have something in common. That way, you are free to interact with all your guests without thinking you need to babysit anyone. And, for the love of all that's good, don't invite people who don't like each other or are not talking to each other! It's safe to seat people in boy-girl-boy-girl fashion, but I prefer to separate couples and place people next to someone they may not have met before, but will have something in common. And, next to them, I'll seat someone they already know, just in case they need an out, if my hopes for connecting new people didn't work!

You

Finally, you should plan your prep time so you can spend as much time as possible with your guests and not trying to get things done. You need to enjoy your party as well. Your guests came because of you. Don't drink too much, so you can be alert. Just be your charming self, enjoy your company and everything else will fall into place and be just fine.

Happy entertaining!

R. Ayite Okyne is The Lifestyle Maven - a style guru, epicure, lifestyle expert and cultural ambassador with a quest for the inspired life. He authors a blog http://ayiteokyne.blogspot.com and hosts a series of web episodes http://youtube.com/TheLifestyleMaven. Send your questions to ayite@thelifestylemaven.com and he'll be happy to answer them!

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How To Host a Dinner Party on the Spur of the Moment

How To Host a Dinner Party on the Spur of the Moment

By Gera Richardson

Some of our fondest memories are from social gatherings with good friends, good food and good times. Even if you're short on time you can still plan a great little dinner on the spur of the moment. It isn't hard to do. Here are ten tips to help you.

Tip 1--Know your Reason: You don't need a reason to get together on short notice, but most times you have one. Perhaps friends are in town for the day. Or you have a new HD television and want to share a movie with friends. Why should you know? You might want to postpone the dinner to have more time to plan it. But you don't have to delay. Impromptu dinners can make for the best of times.

Tip 2--Make It Informal, Simple and Small: I usually invite just friends with perhaps one or two new people I think fit in with the group. Plan on four to seven people (counting yourself) for a cozy gathering.

Tip 3--Do a list: Even if you use the back of an envelope write down what you need to do. Include memory joggers. With so little time you have to schedule and use it wisely

Tip 4--Limit the Errands You Run: Get groceries and supplies (including cleaning supplies) from a combination grocery and department store. If your meal is from a restaurant, phone in your order to be ready an hour before your guests arrive. Have it delivered only if service is reliable and timely. Otherwise, pick it up. Check that it's complete, but leave it closed until you are ready to serve.

Tip 5--Make Sure You have Enough Dinnerware: If not, pick up what you need with your groceries. Good quality paper plates, platters and plastic utensils are fine. Get the finest paper napkins you can. Your guests will appreciate it. I use the dinner size for meals and the luncheon size folded in half for bathroom guest towels.

Tip 6--Do not Fret If Your Home isn't in Perfect Shape: You're doing this on the spur of the moment, so your home may not be as organized and spotless as you would like. Do the college dorm stunt: put everything in closets. Vacuum, dust and fluff. Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher or in closed cabinets. But make sure to thoroughly clean the powder room or bathroom. Provide amenities: liquid soap, guest towels, toilet paper and a small waste basket. Before guests arrive, add an electric air freshener set on low. Spray your entire home with a mildly scented air freshener. Then close doors to off limit rooms.

Tip 7--Serve a Simple Meal: I set a simple table and serve meals that require little work or attention. (You'll need that time for other tasks.) Below are two menus I often use but feel free to develop your own.

Menu 1: Serve fried or grilled chicken from your favorite restaurant (allow 2-3 pieces per guest) with rolls or biscuits from there or a grocery store bakery (allow one dozen per 7 to 8 guests). Serve a comfort food like macaroni and cheese. It works well with chicken. I buy frozen family trays and add extra cheese (4 to 6 ounces shredded) after I bake them. Time them to be done thirty minutes before serving but keep them covered. Mixed greens with vegetables like carrots, spinach and radishes are readily available. Add your favorite chopped vegetables (tomatoes, onions, green peppers) from the salad bar or store deli. Serve with a variety of dressings. Serve dessert with coffee and tea. If the dinner is substantial, serve a light dessert like ice cream. If the dinner is light, serve something substantial.

Menu 2 Chinese Carry-Out: I purchase complete dinners for four or eight. I always order extra egg rolls and sauces (but I also keep sauces on hand.). I serve heavier desserts with this menu. Nice extras: fortune cookies are amusing and delivery is usually reliable.

Tip 8--Do not Sweat Cleanup: There should be little of it. I wait until guest leave and clean up quickly.

Tip 9--Complete your Preparations Early: Finish your preparations (including setting your table) at least thirty minutes before guests arrive. During that time take a quick shower, change into something comfortable, start your music and light your candles.

Tip 10--Relax and Enjoy your Friends: Last minute dinners can make for the best of times for everyone. So cherish them and their memories.

Gera Richardson Loves to entertain with family and friends. She is a gourmet chef and is currently developing commentaries on good food, parties and entertainment. Be on the look out for them.

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